By Michelle Wyckoff
Jonathan Swift. The author of the book "Gulliver's Travels", a great adventure story about a man named Lemuel Gulliver. The story takes place between the years 1699 to 1702. I've decided to rewrite this famous classic.
Let's call the new version....."Gullible's Travels." It's about the adventures of a girl and takes place between the years 1955 and 2016. This girl has gone to school. She's learned things. She's older now, and some life's lessons will never leave her.
She remembers the time when she was eight years old, out behind the garage with Brenda Kretzer, who was older than the girl. Brenda was ten, and when she lit the cigarette and said to her, "Try it, you'll like it!." the girl learned a good lesson, one she would never forget. Ten year olds can't be trusted.
Although she had the greatest intentions, the girl's mother often said to her as a small child, "It doesn't taste that bad," right before giving her a dose of the nastiest, most foul, vile medicine you can imagine. The girl learned another good lesson. Mary Poppins can't be trusted.
When the girl first married and had her own house and yard, and wanted to develop her gardening skills, someone said to her, "Try marigolds. You can't kill them!" Wanna bet? The girl learned another good lesson. Marigolds can die at the flick of a Bic.
Finally, when the girl and her husband were having their own house built, the husband said to her, "We don't need a garbage disposal. Just throw it out over the fence and the horses will eat it." To this day, I've never seen a horse that will eat leftover potato salad.
May you be living the good life, Dora Pearcey!