By Slim Randles

Herb Collins was back out in the yard again Saturday. The noise made the neighbors go to the windows and peek out to see what was going on, because yard work and noise and Herb have never gone together.

Mystery solved. Herb has a new gas-powered lawn mower. Last Saturday was the final outing for his quiet electric lawn mower, as he once again ran over the cord and cut it. The cord finally had more patches than a quilting bee, and Herb had opted for a gas mower that didn’t require an umbilical link to the front porch.

Steve was going by in his pickup truck, the big one with duellies and the blacksmith’s forge in the back, and he pulled over and stopped. Steve got out and watched quietly as Herb continued to mow the lawn. Steve poured himself a cup of coffee from his Thermos, pushed back his Stetson, and watched Herb work up a good sweat.

Herb made three more rounds of the yard, and finally thought Steve might have something important to say to him, so he killed the engine on the mower, mopped his brow, and walked over to the visitor.

“Workin’ hard there, I see,” said Steve.

“Gotta stay ahead of it,” said Herb.

  “Why?”

Herb looked puzzled at Steve’s question. “Well … otherwise it grows too fast and the yard looks crummy.”

“I was by here Thursday,” said Steve. “Saw you watering.”

Herb nodded.

“Why?”

“Well … to make the grass grow, of course.”

Steve raised his eyebrows.

“What?” asked Herb.

“Isn’t it kinda like digging a hole and filling it up?”

“I don’t get you.”

Steve got back in the pickup, rolled down the window, and said. “Seems to me like you’re just encouraging it.”

Then he drove away, leaving Herb to once again deal with the intricacies of cowboy philosophy.

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