A building project (for those of us who are carpenterially challenged) can be a confusing nightmare of little whatchits we never learned the name of and have no idea how to use.

Oh, if we need a two-by-four that's eight-feet long, we're on pretty safe ground and can head on over to MundoSlab, the building center that dedicates about half an acre to tar paper. It's fun going over there, and you never know when you'll find something you can't live without. You can buy the stuff in there from the kid who mowed your lawn until a month ago.

But when the real tough parts of a project come along, you know, things that involve plumbing or wiring, there's only one place to go ... the old-fashioned hardware store. MundoSlab coming in sure cut down on the number of old-fashioned hardware stores, but there's always one survivor.

They have gray-haired guys standing just inside the door to help you find just what you need, even if you don't know what it's called and have no clue how to install it.

I walked into the real hardware store the other day, and a guy with plenty of gray came over and asked if he could help.

"Well," I said. "I have a float thingie on the horse trough that broke. It's that little doo-trammy that's kinda copper-colored and fits on top of the whiz-gidget."

Without breaking stride, he looked at me and said, "Right-hand threads, or will you need an adaptor?"

Let's see MundoSlab match that.

Brought to you by “Whimsy Castle,” the latest novel by Slim Randles. Buy one for the lady down the street, too, okay?