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PROMO 660 x 440 People - Slim Randles
Published Sunday, June 5, 2016

By Slim Randles

The real growth of Dewey's company began after The Weekly Miracle ran that story about his fertilizer empire.

The young reporter might have gone overboard a bit by writing "... with a pure heart, strong arms and a shovel, Dewey Decker pioneered a civilization based on cow manure."

Maybe just a little...

But the truth was, Dewey is so accident prone, shoveling "product" into people's yards was the only thing he found he could do without 1. Ruining expensive equipment and 2. Damaging his body with anything that might be sharp. He was tired of knowing everyone in the local emergency room on a first-name basis.

But the expansion became evident when his sideline, vermiculture (feeding worms) began appearing in bait shops all over the state. This was the brainchild of Dewey's girlfriend, Emily. Her magnificent cheekbones were only outshadowed by her belief in Dewey. Soon she was referring to their vermicultural activities as the "Fishing Functionaries Department."

If there had been a way for Emily to train the worms to be more attractive to trout, she would've tried that, too.

But the worms did well, catching fish when not busy munching "product," and the result was more money than Dewey knew what to do with. So he bought an acre, establishing large bins for the worms and began bagging and selling the resultant worm castings as House Plant Magic.

It worked.

If people's yards and houseplants could talk, they'd thank ol' Dewey for their greenness and vitality.

With the success of Dewey's red wigglers, his thoughts now began turning toward nightcrawlers.

Life is good.