Now one thing’s for dang shore, everwho come up with drugstore language should be roped and dragged out in the brush and wearin’ a big sign that jest says “Guilty.” No need to get more infinitesimal than that until he’s through bouncin’ through the puckerbrush.

As I’m shore you know, since our choice of subject today is arithmeticals and has to do with the language we speak, this here is yore ol’ pal and philosophizer Windy Wilson. Slim usually does these, but he looks the other way sometimes if I sneak by him. You know. Only when it’s a universal primalchordium that applicates to all of us, of course.

So here’s the skinny, and I’m shore you recognizate it, too. Drugstore language was invented by some guy who thought he was educationin’ the world by teachin’ ‘em a new language. Used to be, there was aspirin. Now that ain’t too bad. Spelled it right, too, cuz we been starin’ at it by the sink since Spot was a pup.

But you know how them educators get. You don’t stop at aspirin, oh no, you gotta rename all the pills ever made so no one can pronounce ‘em. Like

Tramexabuteral. That one has somethin’ to do with curin’ the miseries, but I don’t rememberate which part of you needs to be fixed.

But don’t you worry, cuz them druggist guys and doctor guys went to college for a hunnert years to learn that, and it’s dang few that want to share.

Wouldn’t it be a heckuva lot easier to jest walk in and ask for a pill to make it easier to use the … little house? You know. But that would jest make sense and would embarrass the doctors and nurses and pharmacinders in our lives cuz they couldn’t show off any more.

Wish we could try it out, like askin’ for a bottle of Leftleglimpnomore or Catchanoserunnin’. That’s why it takes down-to-earth kinda philosofickals like me to set the tone for universality-type improvements. And you can tell ‘em I said so.

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