Jokes linking football and religion, especially Christianity, are common. “One gets Americans to sit attentively for hours every Sunday, the other is religion.” “Christian athletes always thank God when they win, never blame Him when they lose.” And of course, “WW(FSDJ)D? - What Would (Football Star Du Jour) Do?” With “Him,” it’s like writer/director Justin Tipping went and made a whole movie out of these jokes. But there’s a big problem: the movie isn’t supposed to be a comedy, it’s supposed to be a horror movie.

Cameron Cade (Tyriq Withers) is a promising young quarterback coming off a successful college run, ready to turn pro. Speculation abounds that he could someday by the Greatest Of All-Time, though the current G.O.A.T., the reclusive Isaiah White (Marlon Wayans) is still active and winning. One night, Cade is attacked by an assailant in a goat mask (this movie loves its goat/G.O.A.T. jokes) and his career is derailed. He has one hope of recovering in time to be drafted by a pro team: complete an intense weeklong training session led by Isaiah himself at his mysterious estate.

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It probably goes without saying that the training sessions are absolutely brutal on Cade’s body, especially considering the recent attack. But Cade has been told his whole life that great men make sacrifices, including Isaiah, who has been his hero since childhood. He’s not exactly expecting perfectionist Isaiah to be merciful, but his mentor’s behavior becomes increasingly erratic, with psychological torment like injuring a training partner over his own mistakes and holding him at gunpoint.

Eventually, the question becomes: how much is Cade willing to sacrifice? He’s already sacrificed years of his life, what’s a few more? He’s already sacrificed his body to the point where a single concussion could end his career if not his life, but professional players take those kinds of risks all the time. How about his family? They’re a high priority, but is gridiron greatness an even higher one? What about his very soul? Yeah, this is going to come down to a battle for his soul.

Religious imagery and parallels abound. Isaiah himself is a figure of worship, as zealous fans live in makeshift camps outside his house. Some of them reject Cade as some sort of false prophet, even though he’s supposed to be a welcome guest. When Cade first meets Isaiah, the latter is making a homemade football in a clear reference to Jesus’s carpentry. Isaiah’s wife Elsie (Julia Fox) covers sins and temptations of the flesh. Cade may have, in a way, been sacrificed by his own father in the past. Oh, and Isaiah plays for a team called the San Antonio Saviors.

The bluntness of all the religious parallels would be funny if the movie didn’t take itself so seriously. But it keeps insisting that it is first and foremost a horror movie, and it just can’t compete on that level. The editing is too choppy to make for a suspenseful atmosphere or effective jump scares. Violent impacts, both blunt and sharp, are unconvincing. And there is nothing scary about all the goat costumes. Not only is this movie not as scary as the successful blending of horror and comedy that was “Scream,” it’s not as scary as Wayans’ “Scream” parody “Scary Movie.”

Speaking of blending horror and comedy, “Him” is produced by successful sketch comedian- turned-extremely-successful-horror-filmmaker Jordan Peele. Peele and Tipping certainly have some overlap in storytelling styles, at least on paper, but Tipping can’t be legitimately scary to save his life. The few comedic scenes fare a little bit better, especially in the finale. The highlight of the movie is the Wayans performance, which surprisingly works on a level not of horror or comedy, but tragedy. I wanted a good horror movie and I would have settled for a decent comedy, but “Him” is like a cross between a fumble and an off-key hymn.

Grade: C-

“Him” is rated R for strong bloody violence, language throughout, sexual material, nudity, and some drug use. Its running time is 96 minutes.

Contact Bob Garver at rrg251@nyu.edu.