Grieving may have lost its stigma, but hurdles still exist
Minnesota this week observed the first anniversary of the Annunciation Church and School shooting in Minneapolis.
The solemn occasion coincides with a key awareness day, and leaders in the counseling field say grief looks a lot different today.
Sunday, August 30, is National Grief Awareness Day, and support groups hope people who are struggling with a major loss, or those helping them, can gain insight on ways to cope.
Carolyn Kinzel is the president and founder of the Brighter Days Family Grief Center in Minnesota. Kinzel said society has come a long way in no longer sweeping grief under the rug. But in a digital world, it can sometimes be impersonal.
"Tone and delivery are everything, right? When you think about a text message that says, 'Do you need anything from me today?' That can feel different than someone actually calling and saying, 'I've been thinking about you so much today.'" Kinzel said.
Kinzel said it can’t always just be asking, "How are you doing?" because that might limit a meaningful conversation with someone grieving.
For those who are grieving but don’t have people around them to turn to, Kinzel recommended locating a support group of peers who understand what they’re going through.
Kinzel's nonprofit has lent itself as a listening ear to the broader Annunciation community. Kinzel’s team also helps grieving families work through logistical needs like handling Social Security paperwork or deactivating social media accounts for a deceased loved one.
Kinzel said that is a major but overlooked aspect of this human process.
"If you are so filled with logistics that keep piling up, it is terribly hard to honor and remember and grieve your person," Kinzel said.
Kinzel said counselors and other experts want to educate people supporting a griever, so they don’t feel overwhelmed themselves.
"That's usually the fear is, 'What if I say the wrong thing? What if I do the wrong thing?' And we're happy to help them with some of that, just language, so that they're not so fearful," Kinzel said.
